Musings of Mommy Dearest: Warning: This rant is for me only--to get this bomb off my chest before I explode.

This life we are given is so difficult at times to understand, and even sometimes more difficult to deal with. It is amazing to me how at times I can clearly see the beauty that is right before me in every moment as I go through my day. I can see it in my daughter's hands and her face, and I can even feel it right now as I type out the word "daughter." I can see it nearly every evening, as the sun is setting and the explosion of pink and orange fill the sky. The beauty is there. It's in every single unprompted "I love you" from my sons, and each word of encouragement from IH.

And I also know that beauty can be found in the strangest of places. I have tried so hard to find it in OCD, but yunno what? I haven't yet. There is no beauty in this burden that I bear. In fact, it’s pure ugliness. It has leaked over into every aspect of my life, and for that, I hate it. I hate even more that it’s hereditary, and I hate that hardly anyone outside of the mental health community understands it. Oh, and I REEEEEAAAAALLLY hate it when I hear one of those ignorant people say, “Oh, she’s so OCD” in reference to a perfectionist or well-organized person. That ain’t even close to it, ya’ll. Not. Even. Close.

That's it--end of story--and in the closing words of Forrest Gump--that's all I have to say about that.

So onto something new (and a little less somber:). I'm going to forget my previous "wish list." I am now willing to give up gifts for this Christmas, my birthday next year, and Christmas 2009 combined for this guy right here. I am so over our computer right now. I want my own place for all my pics and I don't want to worry about space, or viruses or any other obnoxiousness like that. And I want to be stylin'. Not like that really matters, but these computers are so darn pretty.

On top of my above vent, I can't even post my own pictures right now--so I am just slightly agitated about that, too. However, my beautiful niece Mirella just sent me this picture...I thought she looked so lovely in it, so I will post about her. She's turning 16 in January and we're planning her "Sweet Sixteen" right now. Auntie Erica and I have been coming up with ideas to make her party as "sweet" as possible. Any clue on what the theme is??? Bottom line--Her party will be fabulous...just like her.