Goodbye. She said. I'm off to join the circus. (A rant)

I'm staring at my calendar for the month of February, and there is a drawing of a trapeze artist, a crown, a tent, and the above quote in really neat font splashed across the page. What does that mean, I wonder. Is the person quoted simply saying FU, I am my own person, I will do what I want, and I won't be pushed around by anyone? Or is she merely celebrating herself and staying true to who she really is? Why does any of this even matter? Well it's because I think this calendar is trying to tell me something. 

To be honest, I have no desire to join the circus, or ballet, or the Peace Corps. Not now, anyway. My desires have changed in the last decade, as most desires do, and right now I know my place is at home with the husband and babies to be a wife and mommy. BUT--there are secret aspirations that have been left unfulfilled! I mean, of course there are, right?! Who doesn't have dreams for themselves that have not come to pass? Regardless of anyone else, though, the point is that for me, these little desires are an integral part of me that I think about a lot. I spend a decent amount of my waking life trying to figure out how to implement some of these darlings into my world so that I feel I'm taking care of me. Cause isn't that what you always hear?---Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself.

So what to do with these neglected babies? Just because they aren't breathing, eating every 1/2 hour, and sucking my nipples dry doesn't mean they aren't alive. Cause I tell you what, they are alive and kicking and desperately want some attention. The tricky part here is dividing my time between my 3 children, my husband, who I fear has been greatly neglected, (sorry my Love) my mess of a house, and myself. Which is the most important here? Dare I say one above the other? 

I dare not....and after 10 minutes of typing, the answer hasn't magically descended upon me (WTF???)...and by the way, just because, Miss Clementine now has a pair of two front teeth.