Dancing Mama

I think it may be a wee bit lame that I was so excited to go out this past Saturday. I mean, I’m 28 years old, not exactly an old hag by most standards, and yet, I was so pumped up about hanging out with my girlfriends that I actually went out and bought new shoes for the event.

Okay, new shoes are so not a priority right now. If, in your home, new shoes are commonplace and you purchase them often and from Nordstrom, then you have no idea what I’m talking about and this post may find you squinting in disbelief and sadness at my misfortune. In my world, however, where the economy sucks ass and I can’t even shop at Whole Foods anymore, shoes (especially heels) are a bit of a luxury. Even when said shoes were on sale at “The Rack.”

I was so proud of these shoes that on the way there, I lifted my leg up in the air and showed them off to the girls. It was dark and I’m sure they couldn’t care less, but they were very polite about it and commented on how cute they were. They were/are incredibly cute, and like I had any inclination of what kind of terror they were about to impose on my defenseless toes.

THE MINUTE. And I mean the minute I got out of the car and began walking to the restaurant my big toes were squishing and began to burn. I was pissed. I was planning on dancing that evening and blisters were not on the agenda, especially that early on. But I had no reason to fear, because a couple drinks later, my feet were the last thing on my mind. Getting down on the dance floor took top priority. So with ill-fitting shoes on, I spent the next few hours dancing, annoying the DJ with ridiculous song requests he never played, and taking obnoxious photos with the girls. I never felt a thing.

Then, as usual, morning came. I woke up in crazy pain and had cracked, bleedy toe skin. One even had a bubble blister on it. They looked dis-gus-ting. I applied Neo and a band-aid and they are still in recovery today.


So is there a lesson to be learned from all of this?

But, of course:


Dance barefoot.

The culprit