Birthday weekend and shiz

Shiz is obviously a nicer term for sh*t, right? Right. So I was watching iCarly the other day with the boys and Carly, after escaping from an near-kiss with the evil Nevel, is asked by her co-stars if she got him to sign some important document which will save her internet show from his evil clutches. She then exclaims with absolute enthusiasm, "Shiz yeah!!" I was like, oh no she di'int!! Come on now---this show is aimed for pre-adolescents, and yes there are worse things kids could be doing than faux-cursing, but still. I thought it was completely unnecessary and kinda weird. Like, how in the hell did that ever get by Nick execs? 

But anyway. That's not what today's post is about. TODAY'S post is about my birthday! 

Woo-hoo!!!

I am officially in the last year of my 20's. 

Gosh, I can't believe I just typed that will all sincerity. That is weird.

Honestly, I still feel 16 most days. Like I'm playing this role of mom and wife, housekeeper and cook, and real life is still out there somewhere stroking its' chin and wondering when I'm gonna figure out this is all a dream and come back to reality. But this is reality. I am a mom and wife, housekeeper and cook. I am twenty fricken nine years old. And I'm still trying to figure out where I was when that happened.

Sneaky, that Father Time.

I celebrated this last year of twenty-something status like a young, feral lioness. From the way I partied it up with the girls, one might think I hadn't been out of the house in years, held captive by some mean husband in a basement dungeon living off an hour of Facebook a day as my only social outlet....or something of that sort. I drank Japanese beer like it was water and danced til my feet blistered....they were really ugly the next morning, trust me on that one. But I had so much fun. 

29 is here! And I accept that. No, I more than accept that. I welcome it with open arms because I am exactly where I'm supposed to be in my life. At least I think so. It's hard sometimes to know that for sure, because of free-will and all, and how easily you can change your life by simple, everyday decisions. For instance, if I ate salmon tonight, I would be exactly where I'm supposed to be, right? Enjoying my yummy fish, minding my own biz. But if I decided to eat steak, wouldn't I be exactly where I'm supposed to be, as well? I'm not trying to be philosophical, I swear. I'm trying to say that....

Life isn't perfect, and there will always be good and bad times, and even if there are trials that are long and hard and bone-achingly drenched in sorrow, I am exactly where I should be. I think I'll leave it at that, and if it's absurd, forgive the rambling.

And I am alive. YES! Love me some breathing! I have people that love me, and for 29 years of my life I have loved truly and deeply. Without abandon. Whether it was my parents in my childhood who were the entire world to me-----my siblings that I grew up with and share that unique bond with-----the best friends....even the ones I may not know anymore, but shared some of the deepest parts of myself with------the one that didn't quite work out the way I expected, but that taught me so much about myself in the process------my children.....oh where do I start? My children. I couldn't love them anymore if I tried. Life is so much more valuable once you add them to the mix, and I want to live forever just to talk to them everyday------Bobby. So much mush to say.......But I'll leave it at this to spare you anymore mush than necessary.......my life was forever changed the moment he walked into it. I watched him from afar checking out the stars in a bar! Who does that?? Did I need a healthy soul to walk into mine? Yes, and badly. 

And life let him in.

Wonderful, exhausting, perfect life opened the door.

Party girls! What, what????