Tonight

I felt so lucky.

As a prelude to a wonderful evening, I spent the day doing chores and to-do's alongside my Handyman a.k.a. Incredible Husband. He cleaned carpets, washed windows, finally put away the Christmas tree, all the while totally not keeping his hands to himself. The nerve! But he's so cute and never once complained as I ordered him around, so I let it slide.

Then, in the evening when all cleaning was said and done, the boys and I grabbed some hamburgers at In-N-Out. OF COURSE there was a line, so what else was there to do but rock out to some Weird Al, Baby! I kept hitting repeat so I could test my rapping skillz and see if I could beat Sebbie with my amazing memory of White and Nerdy lyrics. Except I wasn't so amazing and Sebbie beat me each and every time. But I'm getting there. I get to listen to it everyday in the car if I want to, so he better watch out!

All rapping aside, I just felt so lucky on the drive home to have my family with me....half in my car, the other half waiting at home.  Sure, it's crazy sometimes.....having three and half kids and a husband that works his arse off right now trying to make this whole financial situation work, and I know this will seem like such an anti-climactic way of expressing how I feel about them 

But...... 

I love them. 

Immensely. 

Like tonight, Bobby and I were upstairs tucking Clemmie in, and I watched him as he did his little bedtime rituals with her. Like practically falling into her crib to give her a kiss as she wraps her arms around his neck to keep him from leaving, or just to hold on tighter, I haven't decided which it is just yet. I just stared at him and wanted to grab him by the shoulders and say

Do you know how amazing you are? I love you - like crazy ridiculous love you.

But I didn't. 

I stayed quiet because I just wanted to see him live.....naturally and without the weirdness of some random sweet nothing taking precedence over who he was at that exact moment of his life. Which in turn is my life, too, I suppose. 

So I saved it and I savored it, kissed the girl goodnight, then headed downstairs to make the frosting for my cake-for-no-reason coconut cake.

Yes, this one. 

Which was almost fabulous. Almost meaning I needed 1/4 c. more of sugar in the cake mix. 

I think coconut cakes should be devilishly decadent, and that little extra would take it there, I'm sure.

Cake for no reason is always a good thing. It makes your house smell fantastic and feels kind of like a celebration is about to occur. But cake for no reason totally had reason for me today once I realized that I was celebrating. I mean, I didn't intend to, I wasn't looking for a reason to bake this cake other than I wanted to try this new recipe. But and without trying to sound completely hokey which I'm sure I will, I had everything I needed with me. There was nothing external or material or whatever you want to call it about my needs. I'm sure it seems easy for me to say as I type this out in my warm home with electricity and running water, but my needs - my everything - was right there.....one nestled upstairs in bed,  two eating my cake watching Superman, and the last one giving me that bazillionth back massage without EVER a complaint.

So we ended the night with Clark Kent and who would've been a better Lois Lane than Kate Bosworth. Zooey Deschanel was the winner, BTW.  The kids stayed up way too late, I didn't get any work done, and the kids complained when I wouldn't go upstairs with them.

But through all the madness -  I am one lucky girl.