Just a little bit of a gooey ramble in honor of V-day.

It's late. I'm in the office with Bobby. He's at my computer working on packaging, I'm at his. Supposedly we're having "drunk Thursdays," but I haven't the heart to break it to him that no, no we're not. I'm having a beer. One beer, ya hear? And unless you're hiding a Stella up your sleeve, that's all it's gonna be.

(Bobby's shirtless, therefore hiding a beer up his sleeve would make him greater than Eisenheim, if in fact Eisenheim was real.)

So I'm nursing my one warm beer thinking about the movie I just watched a few days ago, Synedoche, New York. I googled it, trying to gain different perspectives from people who seem smart but most likely just pretend to be. I rather like reading those forums where people discuss movies and was it terrible or not? What was the real meaning? Should Kaufman just stay a writer and let others do the directing? and so on and so forth, and on and on and on.

Really......it was a terrible movie. But it was a great film.

When it was over, I cried. Like cried. So did Bobby. Then I fell into him, tears falling from my eyes as I tried to explain what was happening....why the hell I was sobbing. I couldn't really describe it other than shit - life is so perfect. It is so fleeting and it is so beautiful and it doesn't last. I don't have the time here that I'd like to have and that depresses me, to say the least. I don't have time for bullshit or pettiness or fear. Or anger. I want to live and love. I want to be that cliché girl with the Joie de Vivre t-shirt running down some hill in Austria.


I'm over-the-top. I know this about me, so sorry if you didn't. I tend to be gooey and overdramatic, but it's all me. I pretend none of it.

So this movie moved me. Obviously. You always hear, Life is short! yada yada yada. yawn.

But no - you see - LIFE IS SHORT! And there's so much to do, so much to feel and munch on and savor.

I have these goals, see? They're "life goals" and every once in a while I check one off. It feels fantastic.

I'm really inspired right now. Like, heavy-duty, 6-ply inspired, so please bear with me.

Yunno, speaking of inspiring, Bobby always tells me to write down my goals. To get them on paper so they come alive, so they are physical. So they are real.

I'm not gonna get all hardcore here. But I will write out one goal.



Typing, in this instance, will have to suffice.



LOVE.
To love is my goal. Heck, I already love. With craziness. But I need more of it in my life.



To Love with my heart
my eyes
my hands and my words
Love with my creations
with my entire self

It think it's appropriate considering V-day is 2 seconds from landing. And it should make for one helluva weekend.


Goodnight.