Boy Pride

I pulled out a white polo from Sebastian's closet. Size 10. For Ethan. Ethan is 6. But he is a big 6, and the only white polo he owns was from two Easter's ago. Probably shouldn't even be in his closet still. He was required to wear a white polo with navy pants for his choir performance that night, so big brother's size 10 polo would have to do. Hand-me-downs are common in our house, so it wasn't a big deal when I waltzed into his room with a pair of Seb's old (but in really good shape) navy pants and exclaimed that we had found a pair, thank goodness! I was not looking forward to the possibility of a last-minute shopping trip to Kohl's.

I ran downstairs to finish getting myself ready, and patted myself on the back for making such great time. We weren't late! That's a big deal around here, sad to say. I called out to the boys to get in the car and my jaw dropped as I saw Ethan walking toward me. His shirt was filthy with brown spots covering the entire left side.

Are you kidding me??????

I had steam coming out of my ears! He not only snuck a piece of chocolate (he's my son, I get the obsession) but he then wiped his chocolate-covered fingers all over his white shirt when he was finished gobbling it up. I don't know how many times we've talked about THE WONDERFULNESS OF NAPKINS!!!!! So.....

I let him have it. Kinda. Fine - more like scolded him and ran upstairs to try and find another shirt at the last minute that didn't need ironing! Luckily, Sebbie hates wearing white to school, so another one was hanging in the way back of his closet. I pulled it off the hanger and ran downstairs to tuck in and button up once again.

He's just a kid.

The guilt sank in.

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

I really am.

He was still in good spirits, thankfully. Ruining his special night was the last thing I wanted to do.

We made it on time and managed to find really good seats. As I watched him onstage I couldn't stop smiling. His eyes! His bowl haircut! His smile! Oh, how lucky I was to be witness to such a special day that he had worked so hard for. He sang about bees and caterpillars, looked directly at ME after every song was done, and gave me a huge smile.

I hope he remembers that night. I hope when he's 30 he can look back and see my face in the crowd, thumbs up, mouthing i love you as if he'd forgotten.

I know I won't forget his shining face or the way he stared at Mrs. Husky throughout the entirety of each song, never looking around even for a second until it was over. I won't forget how he would later tell me do you know why I was staring at Miss Husky the whole time?! Because I was nervous!!

I won't forget the days and nights that revolve only around him, because in the world of a boy that lives between a younger sister and older brother, those days and nights are of significance.

They tell his story.

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He worked on his project for months. Reading, note-taking, not reading, not note-taking. It was quite an assignment. Sebastian's first real research paper - documenting the life of a famous Arizonan. Following my advice, he chose Paul Harvey after finding out Pat Tillman and Steven Spielberg had already been taken. Hey - my dad had an old copy of The Rest of the Story when I was a kid and I thought it was the coolest book--EVER. I had no idea there was no kid-friendly materials on the guy!

I went through the whole process with him and we both spent some really frustrating nights trying to work out a thorough rough draft. And getting him to take the initiative and actually start memorizing the oral report? Forget about it!

I did the only thing I could do - I took away his outside playtime. It was awful to have to resort to that, but it is his currency. Nothing else matters more than riding his bike and shooting hoops with his buddies. And I love that - I really do, so it was a big deal to take it away until I saw progress. And I did. He worked hard, finished the report, and put together a 3-minute presentation as Paul Harvey.

We practiced together in the kitchen. I gave him my old-fashioned radio ornament from Hallmark to use as a prop, which he thought was pretty cool.

On the day of the presentations, I was excited and nervous for him. We had rehearsed it at home over a dozen times and he had it down, but I didn't know how he would react once all the parents were actually there - sitting right in front of him.

Well, he showed me!

Didn't skip a beat.

Maybe laughed in some random places, but wow...he was awesome.

Blood, sweat, and tears.

No doubt about it.

But it paid off.

And he was proud of himself. Rightfully so.

And I was, too.

He went on to receive a 95% and even got a Principal's Award for his hard work.

I'm still waiting for mine....

He was the cutest Paul Harvey I have ever seen.

I don't even know what I'm going to do in 10 years....

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