A little dedication

I don't work.

Therefore, I don't bring home any type of bacon.

The contribution I make to this family is me. That's it.

Bobby and I agreed that this is what we wanted for our family when I was pregnant with Ethan. We thought it would be a good thing for one of us to be home with the kids, and since he made more money than I did (and the fact that I got fired when I was 4 months pregnant) I was the chosen one.

I feel so grateful that I'm able to do this. That I'm able to wake up and see my kids each morning, pack their lunches, wave to them from the doorway as they leave in daddy's car with their little sister at my side. I know many women would love to stay home, but financially it is an impossibility.

My kids will grow up with memories of me always being there. I love that. Sometimes I feel a little guilty since Bobby can't say the same, but I'm always the first to tell them - if he could, he would - believe me. They get it, and this is the way it works for us.

There are times - namely birthdays, anniversaries - that it feels a little strange to splurge on a gift for him. I mean, yes, it's our money, but really --- he's the one making it all. So I kind of feel like he's purchasing the gift for himself. He's never, ever made me feel that way.....it's all me, but still.

So, I decided that since today is our anniversary 7 years - woot woot!! I would make a dedication to him. Not a song, not a movie. We have those already.

I dedicate this instead: My 20's.

Wow, oooh......aaaaahhh......

I know, I know, BIG DEAL, right?

But that's my dedication. I got married at 22 to a guy I was head over heels about. Crazy in love.Crazy. He got married at 32 to the girl of his dreams. (His words, not mine) But he got a lot more than he bargained for. He got a girl that didn't know herself, was insecure, didn't know a thing about relationships, and had to work through all of this and more through most of their marriage. Yet, through it all, he never backed down. He was by my side - through the shittiest of the shit....and there was lots of it. He was there - let's make it work, we can do this. I'm here for you. I'll do whatever it takes.....

Such magic words.

Sometimes I don't know why he stuck around during the painful moments. The ones where I was unsure of us, unsure of myself, this life I chose. I only know that I'm so glad he did. Who else would put up with my obnoxiousness? just kidding.

He is the one person in my life that I strive to be like. Sure, there are other people in my life that inspire me, make me realize that people can change and I'm glad for where they are in their lives, but I actually want to live my life the way he does. Not in a weird way - at all - but the way he views the world with such optimism lights a fire within me. Makes me want to be more.

I don't know how I snagged him up, but I guess it was meant to be.

7 years isn't a long time, but it was long enough for me to realize what I had/have.

Everything.

Our honeymoon in Northern Cal, 2003

So Bobby, thank you. For 7 enlightening years of marriage. For 7 years of patience. For 7 years of unconditional love. For 7 years of telling me how beautiful I am every single day. For 7 years of making me see what a marriage could be. For 7 years of just being there. Thank you for it all.

I love you a million x infinity x google.

Your Girl,

K