I really, really didn't want to wake up this morning. In between the few moments of sleep I got last night the thought of having a nanny for mornings like this came to mind. Someone to come in and take care of the baby while I get a couple (or five) hours of uninterrupted sleep. Hownice that would be....
But then, no. That wouldn't work so well. Yes, I would love to catch up on some zzz's; that's a given. But then I would miss out on her waking moments. The ones when the day is new and she is either ready to go back to sleep after her diaper change, or hang out with me and Clemmie in the kitchen while I clean up. This morning all I wanted was to close my eyes and get back to sleep, but her eyes were wide open....taking in the sights of my bedroom, my face, the light.
I wouldn't want to miss that. So I laid down beside her like I always do, and she nursed. As she fell asleep I thought about her and Clemmie, Sebbie and Ethan. I thought about how I haven't been the best mom I could be these past couple of months. I've either been tired, impatient, or not in the mood to do things with them like I used to. Now that she has arrived, I'm just too busy sometimes.
Sleeping Beauty this a.m.
So I'm making a conscious effort to change all that. To make the time to be there - like really BE there. That's what being a mom is all about, isn't it?
Never being too busy for my children...
Taking the time to play WITH them...
Teach them...
So I'm excited. For the change, that is. I hope they can feel the difference. It's all up to me, and if it means the house isn't clean or the laundry isn't done, then I'm ready to accept that.
Happy kid or clean bathroom? I'll go with the kid and make time for the bathroom LATER.
Now it's action time. I have to get Clemmie from upstairs and make her breakfast. Then it's off to the doctor and maybe afterwards, a trip to the park. She loves the swings and it's been way too long since we've gone.
As for me? I've already gotten into the cupcakes we made this weekend. Peanut butter cup.
They are so good and so decadent. I've made one my breakfast for two days straight.
I just won't tell Clemmie that.
Or maybe I will.
I can already see her smile with anticipation....
4 comments:
So beautiful! The baby and the cupcakes. Go easy on yourself. There is a time and season for all things and now is time for survival. Your kids will remember only that you gave them a beautiful sister and forget any of the cranky/too busy moments. Trust me, I'm the second oldest of 5 ;)
Hope you have a great, relaxing day.
Congratulations on baby girl! She's beautiful. It looks like you have the right perspective. Soak it all in....their childhood is fleeting!
Oh my look at those cupcakes! Send me one! Please ( :
The baby is adorable. I think we all go through rough times like this, when we could be better. It seems like you are already taking action to change and thats all that matters.
You love them. And they love you.
Girl-I am struggling with the same thing! I get so irritated with Kaleb at the drop of a hat these days...thanks for the inspiration! I needed it! MUAH!
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