I made soup tonight

and it's 105 out. 

But it was gooood.......so good......heavenly good. I mean, as close as you can get to heavenly thru ground turkey and some vegetables. And the aroma! Well see, the aroma is what made the heat bearable at all.

So....tonight I was alone.   

 

Cooking.

Thinking. 

About all sorts of stuff not necessarily related to cooking at all and wouldn't you like to know? 

Fine, I'll tell you.

I was thinking how I love to cook alone with just music and the occasional kid wandering in out of the kitchen. Lately, Bobby's been taking Seb to practice so it's just me and the little ones left to fend for ourselves. Ethan either reads, colors, or plays on the computer and Muna stays in the kitchen with me playing Rockband with the pots and pans. When I cook with the music blaring I get lost in thought. Songs take me back. Tonight the playlist consisted of Gwen, The Cure, Third Eye, old skool Coldplay, John Mayer, Maria Taylor, Taylor Swift, The Shins, The Pixies, and Ween. 

Oh, the places I go... 

*

I felt blessed when Clementine waltzed into the room and twirled around in circles to the music. She is my tiny dancer, my future ballerina girl.

*

I was thankful that even though I didn't necessarily think I looked pretty today, I felt pretty when Bobby came home and said he just had to take a picture of me wearing my apron. Not sure why, I wear an apron almost everyday, but for some reason he felt compelled to do so. I thought how cool that he just did that. even though I was embarrassed to get my photo taken and wasn't sure if I should pose with the spoon in my hand or not.

*

I was proud of Ethan for creating his own patterns and going through 3 days worth of homework without one complaint. 

*

John Mayer's Stop This Train is deep. Don't question it. Listen and if you get it, you're cool. If not....well.... 

*

I was hoping Sebbie was doing ok at practice tonight. Sometimes he's just completely over it and I have to remind him that his attitude is EVERYTHING. And how true is that, by the way. Attitude is absolutely everything---isn't it?

So I think tomorrow I will get cliche and have an attitude of GRATITUDE. 

For real.

  For everything. For water. For air. For love. For it all.

And I will cook again and have a glass of wine because it's been a while since I've had one. I will chop and think and peel and remember and sing. 

The memories and faces will pull me down another road and for a few moments maybe I will live in another time, wherever that may be. 

Then dinner will be ready and I will come back to NOW.

And eat.

And be thankful for another day.