I brought the zen garden over

cuz I need it.

Raking the sand has never made me feel more calm, or like meditating, or anything like that, but it doesn't hurt to try, right? My mom bought that little garden in San Diego for my birthday last year, and it's just been sitting on my dresser completely unloved. I rake it occasionally, just to see the lines appear, but mostly it sits there, untouched until Ethan comes over and "accidentally" knocks some sand out of it.

So I've moved it.

It now sits next to my computer where I rake it everyday. Sometimes I even get bold and move the rocks.

Like this morning, I made some cool design with the rake and gave a little half turn to Buddha, so now he looks at my calendar on the wall rather than at me. It's a little less disturbing that way anyhow because he's got a huge smile on his face, like he's just so happy to be showing off his scroll to me. So I'm tending the garden now--and I like it. Just another little something to take care of. Not like my 3 babies, 5 caterpillars, 1 husband, 1 house, and myself isn't enough.

Sheesh.


The boys are back in school now, except Ethan because it is Tuesday, and it would seem that I have more time on my hands to "get things done," but ha! I have a little tangerine that is attached to my hip. As I type this out, she is on my lap, suckling away because that's what she still does at 11 months. That is how she sleeps. What have I done???

Secretly, I love it. She's probably my last baby, at least that's the excuse I keep telling myself, so why shouldn't I indulge in all the baby-ing? There is no reason not to. Except...

Oh yeah...

Bobby's been kicked out of bed again. Tangerine is getting bigger, and she needs


M O R E



R O O M.


That means, more stress. Husband misses the bed, and guess what? I miss Husband. It's a little point of contention between the two of us that must be resolved immediately. She needs to get used to her own bed. You know, the one she's NEVER slept in (see below). Or I guess I could start decorating the guest room with old skool pinups and he can plug in his lava lamp and pretend he's a bachelor again and then I'll come visit him upstairs at his "bachelor pad" after the kids are down, and we'll pretend we're dating and....you know?

Sigh. I need to clear my head. Figure out just what to do.

I think I'll just go comb some sand.