You turned 12 today. You woke up really late because you were exhausted from playing paintball with your friends the night before. We sang Happy Birthday to you when you came downstairs and after you thanked us you're all, "technically I turn 12 at 11:07 p.m., so I'm not so sure it's really my birthday yet." Then I was like, "Well if that's the case then you get less than an hour to celebrate, my dear."
So we decided that because family was coming over and we wanted to give them a good reason to celebrate, that today is indeed your birthday. I made you albondigas because you love them and I made strawberry cupcakes, too. They weren't gluten-free, but I let you eat them anyway because frankly, the ones that were gluten-free also happened to be vegan and sugar-free and tasted like dirt. Or at least that's what Mirella said - and although it hurt a little to hear, I think she was kinda right. So I let you indulge a little because you only turn 12 years old once, right?
I really can't believe it's been 12 years that we've known each other. You're my baby! My BABY! And now you're taller than me and growing so fast. I miss the days when I could pick you up in my arms and take you upstairs to bed. I miss combing your hair for you because it always had to be so perfectly coiffed, even at 5 years old. I miss your miniature teeth and singing the "brushy brushy" song to you as we brushed at night. Most of all, especially right now, I miss your voice.....the one that was around until a few months ago. I watched some old video last night of you, Ethan, and Clemmie sledding in the snow - and there it was. Your voice so soft and clear, so childlike. Now it's getting deeper everyday - changing just as you are.
Although I miss all those parts of you - the ones that represent you as a little boy - I love you now more than ever. I appreciate who you are becoming. Your views on life, how you see the world. You're such a cool person. You don't even have to try - you just are. I hope you know that. I hope you realize how special you are and how f***ing lucky the world is to have you in it.
My wish for you today is this: Enjoy being 12. Enjoy NOW. There is a time for everything - don't rush to grow up - that time will be here sooner than you think.
And remember, Sebbie -
"I simply love you more than I love life itself."
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