It's not intentional. If all was well in my world, I'm sure I'd be posting away. Revealing her favorite toys and foods and what makes her smile (ride on car, oatmeal, being chased). But OCD is back in my life and December and January (ok, February, too) was/is seriously hell on Earth.
I don't think my blog is read by anyone anymore which may be a good thing since I'm using it more as a journal for myself. So if by chance someone is reading this....you have been warned. I will be posting personal stories on here, and will at sometime or another sound like the most whiny, depressed, most annoying person ever. Because that's what having OCD does to me - it makes me angry, sad, and angry and sad. Just pissed off that I have to deal with this.
So. I'm at a point right now where I'm trying to tackle this. I'm in therapy right now with a really good OCD specialist who pushes me really hard and has me doing these crazy ERP exercises which just freak me the f*** out, but I do anyway. I think it's helping. I also take a million different supplements so I don't have to take meds. All those anxiety/SSRI meds scare me for some reason. I just hate the idea of continuously putting something unnatural in my body every single day. But I'm not ruling anything out! If after a few months I don't notice an improvement, I will definitely be revisiting the idea of meds, so we'll see.
I'm not sure why I'm choosing this blog as a place to vent, but I just know that I need it. I won't always post this kind of material. I will definitely try to update more often on the kids, but it will make an appearance. Again - you are warned. haha
So now I'm off to teach Clemmie to read. BOB books are the best, right?
1 comment:
I am reading, so happy to see you back. Your daughter's are stunningly beautiful. So sorry to hear of the OCD struggle. It is one I am well familiar with, if you ever need to talk I am here. (((())))
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